How taking class has really been making me feel..

I’m going to get a little real and vulnerable with this one. I have been going through a lot of ups & downs and I have noticed that the dancers around me have been experiencing similar downs. So I just wanted to talk about my experiences and opinions.

Since covid restrictions have slowly lifted in Australia we are now all getting the chance to go back into the studio and take class. For a lot of professionals this can be extremely over whelming especially in a dance school setting when you do not have access to open classes or studios. In my experience and for my friends around me it is so scary to step into a class with people who are training 5 times a week and you are lucky to take a class every 6 months. You already have that negative voice in your head thinking people will judge you, and to be honest some actually do.

At the moment I have access to training in a pro course environment and it was very appealing as it is with like minded and situated dancers. Being back in a dance class has been great physically, though my gosh mentally it has been a total struggle. I have noticed over the years this getting worse but now it is on a whole new level. I take class to dance and improve myself. The last thing I want to do is sit down and watch the same 5 people do the routine for 20mins. I’m sorry but for me at this age I learn nothing from that other than you didn’t look good enough in this combo. I know many teachers give you that 'believe in yourself' speech, but there is only so much you can do for yourself when not one other person around you gives you a small boost.

One of my good friends absolutely slayed a combo totally out of her comfort zone and looked just as good as the people who thrive in that style. I told her at the end of class how good she looked and her words were, “I thought I did well but I didn’t get picked so I mustn’t of been as good as I thought.” That ENRAGED me!! Why has class become about being picked and filmed at the end to leave feeling good? She clearly enjoyed the class but in those last 20 minutes was left defeated and ended the day in a negative mind frame. To be honest I do it too, and so many other people.

Classes are becoming more and more about Instagram and less about the training. I do things out of my comfort zone every single day so it isn’t only about the styles of classes. I personally think focus needs to be on lifting every single student up, I believe it has been lost. Yes there are always going to be students in the class better then others but do we need to point them out every hour? I personally find that you aren’t encouraged when you do your absolute best, you are only encouraged when you are already the best.

I try my best to stay positive, to have an open mind and know I’ve made it this far on my own without ever getting picked out in a class. But I also wanted to share with you all that even though I have ‘made it’ I still struggle with these mind games and my mental state daily. I have been watching majority of the people around me start to despise dancing and taking class due to this reason and that breaks my heart. Nothing to do with the level of talent they have but the feeling they have leaving class, which usually changes within the last 20 minutes.

I just wanted to share my current thoughts and let people know that there are others out there. I thought I was one of a small few but after talking to a lot of people around me I have found that 99% are feeling the same way. You are not alone, you are talented and you are dancing for you. I am going to keep reminding myself of this, and you should too.

I haven’t yet mastered how to deal with this feeling. Going in with a positive mind set doesn’t always work. I am going to keep working on it and I will keep sharing what works and doesn’t work for me.

I am one of few that continue taking class at this stage in my career and I haven’t been broken down yet. But I’m not going to lie to you all, I have been close this month.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this or let me know if you have any tips on how to cope in this forever changing industry. I know this post is a little different, but I am here to educate and help anyone I can.

Holly xo